The lamest blog ever.

I have a cold and too much work.

The end.

p.s.
Hitler liked camel porn but probably wouldn't have liked the Beatles game despite being a big fan of Bin Laden's crusty socks. Olé! Let's all have peanut butter cookies and draw pictures of goats on the Kremlin!

(Go to it googlers, bring me some good search results!)

Today so far...

Me: ::e-mailing work very early this morning:: "Hey, just wanted to see if we knew how [co-worker's] father is doing? Should I pick up flowers on my way in?"
Boss: ::e-mail reply:: "He's a little better but she stayed home; oh and [other co-worker] was in a car accident...I'm glad you're coming in, at least!"
Me: ::e-mail reply:: "Didn't I tell you? I'm in Hawaii. Oh, I gotta go, the poolboy is bringing me a fresh drink..."
Boss: ::e-mail reply:: "GET HOME NOW!"

So to sum up:

I'm not really in Hawaii.

-------------------

Me: ::on bus, takes bus tickets out of pocket to put them in wallet, forgets there was money in there, too...change goes all over the bus floor::

...silence on bus except for about $2.30 in coins...

Me: ::sighs, picks up what is within easy reach, nearly falls on head, gives up on that other $1.50 that's rolled away::
Stranger: ::gets up...crouches down in aisle of moving bus, picks up change::
Me: "Oh, hey, don't worry about that!"
Stranger: ::dries coins off on sleeve of her coat...hands them to me:: "Happy New Year...now you get a morning coffee!"
Me: ::speechless::
Stranger: ::keeps going...gets off bus::

So to sum up:

Someone being randomly nice like that was actually worth a lot more than a few coins.

-------------------

Me: ::waiting at office elevator...elevator button is lit to show it's been pushed::
Guy: ::walks up...pushes lit elevator button again::
Gal: ::walks up after him...pushes lit elevator button again::
Other gal: ::walks up after the other two...pushes lit elevator button again::
Me: ::gives up on humanity...decides to buy one-way ticket to Hawaii::

So to sum up::

Self-evident, yes?

-------------------

And now...happy first Monday of 2010!

One of my silly little traditions.

A few years back, a friend told me she burned the calendar every New Year's Eve as a sort of way of getting rid of the old year and starting the new one off fresh...at first I laughed at the idea but, the more I thought about it, the more the idea appealed to my inner pyromaniac me.

It's cathartic, if nothing else.



Given that I do this every year at around 11:30pm on New Year's Eve, while quite tipsy, it's a good thing I'm careful with the lighter...a stray spark and I'd go up like an alcohol-soaked torch.

Have a great first-weekend-of-2010...see you on Monday!

Happy 2010!

You know the saying, "When God closes a door, He opens a window"?* Well, this year, lots of doors were slammed on me**; fortunately, the Holy Moose, in his infinite wisdom, nailed the windows closed so I couldn't jump...or throw things out...or drop things on passers-by...

But I digress.

By way of saying goodbye to 2009...the year in photos, like I do every year. Ain't tradition grand?

























Happy New Year!

---------------

*Is there a rule against an Agnostatheist type person borrowing a religious saying? I hope not. I always liked the sentiment, as heathen as I am.

**...not to mention the things that went wrong for some of my friends, family, co-workers, and on and on. Next year will be better, folks. The window doesn't always open but sometimes there's a secret door...or something.

A Very Merry Office Christmas. Or something.

Me: ::sitting quietly at desk working playing on internet/iTouch::*
BigBigBoss: ::loudly:: "Oh wow, somebody's actually here!"
Me: ::startled:: "Yep...I'm here all week."
BigBigBoss: "Is [boss] in, too?"
Me: "Yes, just us...everyone else is on holidays."
BigBigBoss: "You do know that you two are the only ones on this side of the floor...and I doubt anyone even knows you're here."
Me: ::glint in eye::
BigBigBoss: "Don't even think about it, I know now."
Me: "Dammit."
BigBigBoss: ::wanders off, laughing to himself::

So to sum up:

He tracked me down by my typing...it's so quiet in the office today, you can apparently hear my rapid-fire typing from four or five cubicles away.

And to sum up my *:

I currently have no work. Anyone need anything edited?

Happy Tuesday!

I'm so funny.

So, I got this new toy for Christmas...I have music and reference and news and weather and fb and mail apps. And a flashlight. And, well, this:

Mr. Cake: "Blah blah blah..."
Me: "Shhh, I'm watching tv."
Mr. Cake: "Blah..."
Me: ::starts up app:: "You asked for this."
Mr. Cake: "Huh?"
Me: ::swings iPod...it makes lightsaber noise:: "Now yer in pieces. Shh."

So to sum up:

My new toy is awesome and so is tv.

Happy Monday!

Christmas summed up in 4000 words...

...and call this relative conciseness my gift to IANO.









Happy Boxing Day!

p.s.
Yeah, the critters got presents...got a problem with that? Squeaky toy for the pup and catnip for the cats. I fully realize they don't know or care about Christmas. Also, that picture of me was taken sometime before 8am-ish...and I woke up a lot earlier than that, so I was very cold and wearing flannel pj pants, a long-sleeved shirt, a hooded sweater, AND my housecoat/robe/dressing gown/whatever-it's-called. And bedhead. Sexy, eh? Also, while I'm explaining my weird little life...the cinnamon rolls were my first ever try at a gluten-free version (I had to pick between this pic and the one of the baked rolls...I flipped a coin).

T'was the night before Christmas...

8:15-ish this morning. The scene: me, sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to figure out what to wear for Christmas Eve.

Cell phone rings.

Me: ::stares at phone; it's The Other Job's manager:: "Hello?"
Manager: "Hey, [Cakie], do you have a second?"
Me: "Yeah, of course...what's up?"
Manager: "I'm really sick...I've been up since 4:30 throwing up. What time do you get out of the office? You were coming over for 3-ish, yes?"
Me: "Yup...but it'll be quiet, I'm sure they won't mind if I need to leave earlier. I have holiday time, anyways..."
Manager: "[NewOwner] can't really be left alone on Christmas Eve..."
Me: "Gotcha...I'll be over earlier!"
Manager: "Okay, thank you, thank you, thank you...come over as soon as you can and I'll owe you forever."
Me: "No worries at all."

So I went to work and told the boss there was a "family emergency" of sorts at the bookstore. He told me to check on the situation and leave whenever I needed to; he's wonderful.

At 11am, I called the store to see how things were going: manager was still really sick and NewOwner was panicked. I shut down at the office and dashed to the store.

So to sum up:

I was looking forward to a couple of things about being at the office...but it's always nice to be at the store on Christmas Eve. It's like the old days.

*passes the cookies and excellent drinks around*



Merry Christmas!

Tea almost out the nose.

Boss: "Thank you for taking care of [ugly mess of work]!"
Me: "No worries, I only had to crack a few skulls."
Boss: "I'm impressed nobody died!"
Me: "Oh, it was only thanks to the grace of God, the Son, and the Holy Moose." ::crosses self...makes moose antlers on head with hands::
Boss: ::sputters tea:: "You're going to hell."
Me: "I'm counting on my being a good person to buy me some bonus points in the end."
Co-worker: "Don't forget I pray for you regularly."
Me: "That too."

So to sum up:

I've got a good heart...forgive the blasphemy. ::puppy eyes::

Way busy here this week...between here and The Other Job, I probably won't get a proper post done here until Christmas. Until then, have fun last-minute shopping!

Happy Tuesday!